PASSIONATE RATIONS

I’m not a big consumer of fast food, given its typically low quality and high sodium content, but when I need food fast, I want it easily available.

Unfortunately, I moved to the Northeast.

Compared to southern California—my previous residence—local fast-food pickings here are off-the-map atrocious. There’s a ridiculous abundance of Burger Kings and McDonalds and a smattering of Wendy’s, but, well, that’s pretty much it. Burgers are apparently the Yankee’s entrée of choice. And one brand of donuts. There are so many Dunkin Donuts that New England has taken on a distinct pinky-orange tinge in satellite photos. I can’t find a Krispy Kreme within an hour’s drive unless I leave the state.

I also have to travel far to find a Taco Bell or KFC (although a joint TB-KFC is, I admit, about to open up in my area, about which I am moderately unexcited).

Goodness forbid if I want my own special blend of Arby’s horseradish and BBQ sauces.

There’s no Carl’s Jr., no Dairy Queen, no Jack-in-the-Box, no Del Taco, no Long John Silver’s, no Popeye’s Chicken & Biscuits. There’s simply nothing at all in the interesting cut-above range, like El Pollo Loco or Baja Fresh. Most horribly, there’s no In-and-Out, even with the burger-crazy locals (Okay, I know my beloved burger-shack is a regional thing, but why it hasn’t taken off internationally, I am at a complete loss to explain, since their burgers and fries actually come from real cows and potatoes and have the taste to prove it).

I never thought when I left L.A. that I should consider the dearth of fast food on my “con” list of reasons for moving.

Now I know better.