PASSIONATE RATIONS

Normally when something smells bad, I don’t eat it.

One of the exceptions to this rule is, of course, cheese.

The stinkiest cheese can have the mildest, most pleasing flavor.

I was reminded of this when we tried the second of three chocolate-cheese combinations my sister-in-law gave us for the holidays: Abbaye de Citeaux cheese and Jacques Torres’ Peruvian chocolate bar.

Abbaye de Citeaux is one smelly cheese, reminiscent of an overpopulated barnyard of bovine-esque sweat socks gamboling about in puddles of ammonia.

I recommend avoiding the aroma of the cheese and going straight for its insides. In other words, breath through your mouth and only through your mouth when handling. Immediately cut off the rind of your chosen slice, feed it to the dog, and eat only the creamy insides. You may wish to wear rubber gloves while handling.

Whatever the off-putting aspects of the lingering aroma may be, the insides of this cheese are worthy of closer examination. It is very pretty—exhibiting a buttery color and delicate holiness (hole-y-ness?) reminiscent of Swiss cheese. And the taste? The label describes it as “roasted corn,” but every time I bit into the salty creaminess I thought of steamed shrimp and clams. Really good steamed shrimp and clams. Maybe it was the salt. It definitely does not taste like Swiss cheese, despite the homage to holes.

This cheese was paired with Peruvian chocolate, a sweeter, milder chocolate than the Costa Rican tried previously.

Again, the results were very satisfying. The chocolate and cheese came together on my taste buds as something altogether new and completely unified.

A triumph for alliterative edibles, cheese and chocolate will have my vote this evening, whatever happens in Iowa.